Thursday, September 1, 2011

The VMAs Didn’t Really Do It For Us…

What a boring night for hair. Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, and Kim Kardashian all wore their signature center-parted, extension-enhanced, slightly waved hair, the same as always.

Miley Cyrus
The simple updo made an appearance on Selena Gomez, Maria Menounos, Zoe Saldana, and Ashley Rickards. The one updo we loved was Miley Cyrus, who finally looked appropriate and elegant with her tasteful chignon, her floral-and-leopard print dress that was conservatively cut from the front, and an eyeful from behind. Her makeup was lovely, and she looked fabulous.

Adele is perfect: her hair, her makeup, she knows what works for her. 

Beyonce, with her simple side ponytail -- her hair looks healthy, the color compliments her skin tone, she’s just glowing (no doubt due to her news that she’s expecting), and her makeup is simple.   

Kelly Rowland
Kelly Rowland, one of Beyonce’s partners in Destiny’s Child, looks fabulous with her just-right bangs and long hair. It’s shiny and healthy, and the bangs hit at just the right place to enhance her eyes.

Jessie J
Singer Jessie J, who made crutches look cool, wears what used to be called a China Bob with total aplomb. It suits her, her hair is shiny and healthy looking, and her almost-black shade works with her pale skin, blue eyes, and avante garde make up.

Crystal Reed
Then there were the train wrecks. Crystal Reed, with a braid in the front and probably extensions, looks like she just rolled out of bed, but nothing like the Sixties sex kittens we talked about last week. It’s not sexy; it just looks like she needs a date with a deep conditioner.

Deena Cortese
We think it’s safe to say there is not a single thing on “Jersey Shore’s” Deena Cortese that is real – not the emerald-green contacts, not the gravity-defying cleavage, not the fake-bake tan, not the fake fingernails, and certainly not the bumped-up multicolored extensions.

Demi Lovato
We were sad to see former Disney star Demi Lovato looking like one of the cast of “Jersey Shore” with her own extensions, bad highlights, damaged hair, fake tan, and exposed cleavage. We expect better of her. This is not a great entrée into adulthood.

There are so many cautionary tales with “rapper” Kreayshawn that we don’t know where to start – but certainly the hair is a total disaster. The black curly part is likely a wig, leaving the smooth curled-under blonde bangs likely to be her real hair, though not likely her natural color. This bi-colored, bi-textured ‘do is an attention-getter, but it is so unattractive that who wants THAT sort of attention? Aren’t the tattoos and loud clothing enough?

Nicki Minaj
We understand Nicki Minaj is known for her outrageous wigs, but with a voice like hers, isn’t it time to dump the synthetic and step out in her real hair? We doubt sales of her music will drop off just because she doesn’t look like a child’s confection.

Katy Perry
Oh, Katy Perry. Lavender?

Until next week, ciao!

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